The Tyranny of Teenager Fashion

Having spent some time conducting field research at a seaside resort, I have determined that nothing is crueler than teenage girls' fashion.

Everyone else seems to have figured out ways to shield their imperfections. Adult women wear cover-ups, high-waisted shorts, baggier tops, bathing suits with a little more cloth than necessary. Adult men wear large bathing suits, large t-shirts and droopy hats. Teenage boys, even those who don't need to hide anything, favor shorts that hang below their knees and baggy t-shirts.

Teenage girls, on the other hand, seem uniformly attracted to clothing that displays them for all the world to see. Revealing clothing can, of course, give a very effective kick-start to the mating dance when the teenage girl is well-proportioned. However, when she's a little (or a lot) overweight, when her hips are not narrow, when her legs are not as gracefully long as a runway model's, in short, when she's less than near-perfect, the clothing cruely publicizes her shortcomings.

Take, for example, the ultra-low and short hip-hugging pleated skirts that I observe on many teenage girls. This article of clothing seems designed to demonstrate to the world that the teenage girl has slim hips, little body fat and long and slender legs. Unfortunately for most teenage girls I observed, this skirt instead reveals wide hips, the beginnings of a beer belly hanging over the skirt's waistband and large thighs poking out under the skirt's bottom.

I can understand why a very attractive teenage girl would be attracted to clothing like this. What I don't understand is why the less attractive teenage girls allow themselves to play this losing game.

The herd instinct undoubtedly explains some of this, but if most teenagers do not have the bodies to wear these clothes well, why isn't the herd dressing more strategically?

Self-delusion surely explains some of this as well -- the most flattering mirror is often the one in our mind -- but one would think even the most muddleheaded teenager, upon seeing her excess abdominal fat ooze over the top of her skirt, would realize that some clothing simply doesn't display her as well as other clothing.

Teenage rebellion can't be ignored. Part of rejecting our parents is rejecting the sensible clothing they wear, even if wearing it would make us look better.

It may be that teenage fashion was set in stone back in the days when Americans weren't so overweight. As teenage girls joined the great American eat-out and packed on the pounds, they've continued wearing the same sort of revealing fashions their mothers wore when they were skinnier teenagers.

I can't explain my observations, but I've resolved to continue my field observations for as long as necessary to get to the bottom of this mystery.

Comments

[stephenb]

"get to the bottom of this mystery" .. excellent pun!
But, ah, I believe the truth is that teenagers no longer have any capacity to self-criticize their own body image. One cannot blame them really, I suppose, considering all the mixed messages they receive from dieticians, feminists, glossy magazines, TV, their family doctors, their peers, etc.

[Enoch Soames]

I was wondering if anyone but me noticed that most teenage girls today look like hell. Obviously, the "mirror in the mind" is the only one in the house.