So I finally bought this expensive car and I have to say I'm not that happy with it.
Growing up, my parents used to shake their fists at drivers of expensive cars and tell me they owned the road. Having driven my expensive car for several months in many different driving conditions, I can attest that drivers of expensive cars no longer own the road. Call it mass-democratization, call it a lack of respect for one's betters, call it what you will, but the simple fact is lesser cars do not defer to my superior car.
When choosing a car, I made sure to get the biggest engine option available -- a 300 hp V8. I've driven the car long enough to confirm that its had no appreciable effect on my stature or my penis size. In fact, people who see my car now assume I'm a short man with a small penis, so if anything it's just made things worse.
Those windy mountain roads they show in the car ads? Apparently they don't come with the car.
Well isn't it at least a babe magnet? No, it just attracts car guys who want to talk about its compression ratio and skid pad performance. The car guys always want to know how fast I've driven it. I have to tell them that, with rush hour traffic and all, I rarely get it above 45 mph. Although depressing to admit, it at least gets rid of the car guys.
Maybe I'll get a Prius next time. It's sure to repels the car guys and, what with its sensitive-guy-who-cares-about the-environment vibe, it just might be the ticket to attracting the ladies.
Your disappointment comes from buying an expensive, high-performance car for all the wrong reasons.
Knowhadamean?
Regards,
ACD (the semi-crippled weblogger)
Posted by: A.C. Douglas | October 06, 2004 at 03:45 PM