Doomed

When it comes time to account for the time I've spent on this earth, I'll have a lot of explaining to do.

How, for instance, do I explain the months I spent in 1994 playing Doom? At the time, it was a strangely compelling computer game like none I'd ever seen before. Hour after hour I climbed the game's learning curve, mastering multiple weapons, memorizing maps and maiming millions of monsters. After a few months, I could repeatedly depress various keys on the keyboard at an inhumanly rapid pace, I could intuit the best paths through the game's various levels and I could intelligently discuss the pros and cons of utilizing various weapons in various setting against various monsters.

Today, alas, that hard-won knowledge is useless to me. Soon after I finished Doom I stopped playing all computer games, so I haven't used my game-playing skills in years. My deep understanding of Doom hasn't impressed any of my employers, perhaps because I haven't pursued a career in the burgeoning electronic simulation or game software industries. And, sad to say, my prowess at first-person shooter games never seemed to impress the ladies.

So what do I have to show for all the time I spent in front of a computer monitor in 1994? Nothing except the firm resolve to never again waste a significant chunk of my life parked in front of a computer monitor.

And then I started blogging.

Comments

[stephenesque]

The difference between Doom and blogging, of course, is that blogging is a somewhat creative pastime.

[Outer Life]

You've never played Doom, or else you'd appreciate the immense amount of creativity required to devise a means of slaying the Mancubis or Cyberdemon without a BFG.

[Enoch Soames]

I, like yourself, know the pain of being pk'd by your partner, who then takes your backpack...the bastard.

[Alan Sullivan]

Now you're Double Doomed...