Looking back, have you ever wondered what would have been, not in a wistful way, but in a thank-God-that-didn't-work-out, what-the-hell-was-I-thinking way?
Senior year in college, no cash in the bank, no job prospects on the horizon, graduation rapidly approaching and, due to some poor planning, no grad school real-world deferral option, I jumped at the opportunity to interview with a large insurance company for a job as an actuary.
Not deterred in the slightest by the fact that I had no idea what an actuary did, or that, once I realized what an actuary did, I had no talent for, or interest in, what it was actuaries did, I managed to ace the screening interview and get a callback. I then spent a day in Connecticut, interviewing with earnest young, and crusty old, actuaries, absorbing their cushy corporate environment, eating in their cavernous corporate cafeteria (heavily subsidized, of course), dreaming of how I'd spend the high starting salary, convincing myself that this might just be what I was put on this earth to do while ignoring all the evidence to the contrary.
How does a drowning man feel when the lifeguard pulls him out of the water? I don't know, but it's probably how I felt traveling back to school from that callback, contemplating my successful leap into off-campus adulthood, complete with a health plan, a retirement plan and that heavily subsidized cafeteria eating plan.
The rejection letter somehow arrived before I returned. I was crushed, convinced I'd lost my only opportunity to avoid a post-graduate life on the streets.
As it happened, I did almost end up on the streets, barely surviving on a string of dead-end low-rent jobs for a few years, not earning anything close to an actuary's wages. It was only after grad school that I regained the momentum I lost that day the actuarial ding letter arrived. It's pretty pathetic, now that I think of it, that my early career years peaked on a day I interviewed unsuccessfully for a job for which I was unqualified and that would have made me unhappy.
For nearly 20 years I've suppressed this memory of what-might've-been-but-thankfully-wasn't, only remembering it just now when I happened across this actuarial blog.
Wow, what a coincidence. I am about to graduate from college with a bachelor's in math and no career plans, and have thought about becoming an actuary, but I'm not sure if I would like it.
Posted by: Rachel C | November 05, 2004 at 11:55 AM
We all dodged the bullet on that one. This blog would be a far drearier place if we had to read the tedious one-size-fits all "inspirational" quotes like this one from Actuarial News:
A person starts to live when he can live outside himself."
-Albert Einstein
instead of Outer Life's own unique perspective on things (as at http://www.outerlife.com/2004/11/an_open_letter_.html).
Posted by: Jan Bear | November 05, 2004 at 01:40 PM
Wow. I am you if you took that job. You sure are lucky you didn't turn out like me.
Posted by: The Misspent Life | November 05, 2004 at 03:36 PM
You got away too, eh?
Very similar story for me - needed a job in my last year at Uni and an actuary seemed a very respectable job. I also got the full-length return visit, meeting the people I might be working with - they never actually sent the rejection letter, but I'd learned enough not to follow up.
Rather scary to think I'd still be in training for that job if I'd taken it - it can go on for 7 to 10 years apparently.
Every time I get down about my current job (which is not infrequently), I thank God I didn't end up an actuary.
Posted by: Blimpish | November 06, 2004 at 04:26 PM
I told my brother to be an actuary. His school is very good in that area. It is good money, and as far as I know he doesn't have much personality.
Posted by: The Misspent Life | November 06, 2004 at 04:41 PM
Before we get out of hand bashing actuaries, let me be clear: I didn't mean by this post to demean actuaries; just because the actuarial life wasn't right for me doesn't mean it isn't right for others.
In fact, today I'm far more adept with math and statistics and probabilities than when I left college. As a result, I'd probably be much more interested in actuarial things today.
Posted by: Outer Life | November 06, 2004 at 05:18 PM
Did you get hate mail, Outer Life? Is that why you've gone all CYA on us?
Posted by: The Misspent Life | November 07, 2004 at 08:18 PM
Do you know anyone who can give me a good quote on Third Party Guest Blooging and Identity Theft?
Posted by: stephenesque | November 08, 2004 at 06:38 AM
Actuarial!??! Hell, you could have ened up at a Big Five Accounting firm and become an accountant. I believe that circle of Hell is even closer to Lord Satan, CPA.
Posted by: DarkoV | November 08, 2004 at 02:08 PM
I'm an actuary and just graduated from college. I had to turn down my first job offer, not for the money but the group was so borring I could see myself going postal two weeks in. But, I've found that there are 2 types of actuaries. The ones that everyone knows about and the ones like . . . me. normal. I have since found a group of actuaries to work with that are not complete freaks of nature. But, hey, no one loves a good roast more than me.
P.S. CPA = couldn't pass actuarial exams
Posted by: Me | November 26, 2004 at 01:40 AM