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Darko

Upstaging is the answer. Ask your Richard Lewis Doc how good his videotaping skills are (I'm sure they're great; isn't it an unspoken fact that EVERYONE i n California is a frustrated director?). Have him tape your, uh-hum procedure (I'm crossing my legs and feeling empathetic pain for you). Then, at the the now non-Surprise Party, after attention has focused away from you, have that projection screen tv that you surreptitiously leased for the event rolled in by the rental people. (hopefully the party's at Mr. 50's place). Put in the video. Hit "Play". Watch as the moths are drawn to the flame.
I almost failed to mention that your use of video-editing to enhance features should be a consideration. Turning 40 should be a big event, right?

Yahmdallah

I'll have to see if I can scare this up for you, but an old cartoon by Jerry Van Amerongen, then called "The Neighborhood" - rather than "Ballard Street" as it is now (http://www.creators.com/comics_show.cfm?comicname=bs) - showed a guy walking out his front door in the morning, thinking to himself, "Do I feel how I'm supposed to feel? Or am I supposed to know how I feel?" and the caption to the cartoon is: "Deep thinking screws up another perfectly fine day."

R J Keefe

Perhaps your wife will surprise you with no party.

It's probably too late to give Robert Burton's 1621 classic, "The Anatomy of Melancholy," but you might find it simpatico.

Julia

Some interesting thoughts about being tired here; I loved "A tired so deep you're hollow. A tired so stubborn I have to will my way around it, forcing each muscle and bone to move in sequence." I feel that way right now as the full-time working mom of a young baby and a preschooler. I hope that I do at least get enlightenment as a consolation prize (at some point). I hope you do too. Congratulations on at least making it past the crisis, again.

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