Outer Life

Outer Life Enterprises Announces Birth of "Outer Life's Outer Links" -- Newest Member of Growing Blog Family

Outer Life Enterprises LLC is proud to announce the birth of the newest member of Outer Life's Family of Blogs, Outer Life's Outer Links.

Outer Life's Outer Links collects exciting content from across the web, excerpts it and packages it for you in a dynamic, ever-changing uniquely personal mass-produced web experience.

"We're extremely excited to leverage the brand equity of Outer Life into new segments of the growing blog market," explained Outer Life Enterprises brand guru Sarah Armstrong, its Vice President of Strategic Communications and Brand Strategy. "Outer Life's Outer Links is just the first of many internet beachheads we hope to establish for the Outer Life brand in the coming months."

"Content is king," observed Harvey Manfredjensenden, Outer Life Enterprises's Vice President for Production. "The problem is, we can't manufacture original content fast enough to keep up with the demand, so we decided our first foray in our brand extension strategy would be to lift content from other sources, repackage it and publish it under the Outer Life name. This enables us to significantly ramp-up our unit production while minimizing our investment in content creation."

"More three million sites provide content each day," Mandfredjensen continued. "If two heads are better than one, we figured three million heads would be much much better. It's like we've got millions of typing monkeys out there, and one is typing Shakespeare. Each day Outer Life's Outer Links will try to find that monkey and reprint his content."

Outer Life's Outer Links will also increase the visibility of the Outer Life brand and enhance its cross-marketing promotional opportunities. "We will blanket the web with trackback pings and fill up Technorati listings with references to Outer Life's Outer Links. Outer Life's Outer Links will be hard for bloggers and other content creators to ignore," Armstrong said. "When bloggers and others see their content appear on Outer Life's Outer Links, we hope they will see it as an honor, albeit an unpaid one."

Outer Life's Outer Links will also permit Outer Life Enterprises to streamline the production of content by outsourcing the content collection and organization tasks to low-cost labor at its new data collection center in West Virginia. "You'd be surprised how hard it is to find people who can think and put words together at the same time," noted Manfredjensenden. "Outer Life's Outer Links can be staffed with people who just copy and paste stuff they see on the web. Anyone who reads at an eighth-grade level and can operate a web browser can do that."

"Content recycling is the future; content creation is the past," observed Armstrong. "Outer Life Enterprises is now strongly positioned for the future."

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Outer Life Enterprises LLC (OUTR:OTC BB) is a next-generation dynamic content creation and management company taking the internet to the next level and beyond. Outer Life Enterprises LLC produces the Outer Life Family of Blogs including Outer Life, an increasingly popular weblog showcasing grammatically-correct idiosyncratic musings and random ramblings, and Outer Life's Outer Links, a new weblog branding third-party content with the Outer Life brand name to present a dynamic, ever-changing uniquely personal mass-produced web experience.

Memo to Tenants

M E M O R A N D U M

TO: Tenants

FROM: Building Management

DATE: May 19, 2004

RE: Elevators

It has come to our attention that some tenants may need assistance in elevator operation.

Our elevators were manufactured by the Otis Elevator Company. The people at Otis designed our elevators to be very easy to use. For this reason, we have not previously offered training courses to our tenants in elevator operations. It is our hope that this memorandum will clear up any misunderstandings and enable all tenants to properly utilize our elevators.

To summon an elevator, enter an elevator lobby and press one of the elevator call buttons conveniently placed on the walls between the elevator doors. You will notice, upon pressing the call button, that it lights up and stays so lit until an elevator appears.

If, upon entering the elevator lobby, you see that the call button is already lit, you can safely conclude that an elevator is on its way.

Tenants who nevertheless press an already lit call button will not make an elevator appear more quickly. Tenants who repeatedly press an elevator call button will, similarly, not hasten the elevator's arrival. It should go without saying that tenants who hit the call button with extreme force will not make the elevator move any faster, but the hole in the wall between the north elevators in the middle bank suggests that this should not go without saying.

Our Otis Elevators include the latest elevator technology, but our elevators remain inanimate, unable to respond to any external stimuli other than the initial pressing of the call button. No amount of further button pressing, or cursing, or foot stamping, or glaring will result in any change in the elevator's operation.

If you have any further questions regarding our elevators and their proper operation, please do not hesitate to contact any of us in building management. As always, our goal is to enhance your tenant experience by "Building Maximum Satisfaction!"

Outer Life Enterprises Hires New Marketing VP

Blogging is serious business. Too serious to leave to amateurs like me.

That, apparently, is the judgment of the board of directors of Outer Life Enterprises LLC, who've gone out and hired Sarah Armstrong as Outer Life's new Vice President of Strategic Communications and Brand Strategy. Sarah's mission is to redirect and focus the Outer Life brand, increase consumer awareness of the redirected and focused Outer Life brand and eventually extend the Outer Life brand into new market segments, leveraging the equity of the Outer Life brand and creating numerous cross-marketing opportunities for the Outer Life brand.

Sarah comes to us with a B.S. in marketing from Arizona State University and two years' experience in brand management at Proctor & Gamble, considered by many to be Brand U.

Sarah is a real self-starter. She's already thinking up taglines we can use in an Outer Life image campaign broadly defining the meaning and aspirations of the Outer Life brand experience:

• "When you're told to get a life, get Outer Life."
• "Outer Life. Much better than Outer Death."
• "Life sucks and then you die; Outer Life writes and then you buy." (long version)
• "Life sucks; Outer Life blows." (short version)

One or more of these may replace our current tagline "Who needs an inner life when we have Outer Life?"

Sarah also has some exciting ideas for extending the Outer Life brand into new target blog markets:

• Outer Life's Knit'n 'n' Kitt'ns. A blog devoted to whimsical musings on yarn and the cute things one can make with yarn and kittens and the cute things they do with yarn.
• Outer Life Presents Bushwhacked! and Outer Life Presents Kerrywhacked!. Political blogs are HOT and we've got two to cover the entire political landscape of the blog-o-sphere -- one champions the Republicans and denigrates the Democrats from a libertarian perspective, the other champions the Democrats and denigrates the Republicans from a libertarian perspective. The same person will write each blog, simultaneously posting to both using a specially-designed posting interface. The raw text of a post would look like the following:

  Bush is so [not] great! Republicans do [not] rule! Kerry will [not] lose in November!

  The special interface would add the bracketed words to the Kerrywhacked! blog while omitting them from the Bushwhacked! blog (or was it the other way around?).
• I'm Saved/You're Spent!, an Outer Life Joint. Studies have shown the growing popularity of religious faith-based blogs. Outer Life seeks to create its own flock of faithful adherents with a new blog tapping into the smugly exclusionary self-satisfied self-awareness available only to those who've discovered the one true faith. Key challenge -- keeping the blog flexible enough to appeal to all faiths while leaving each reader with the impression that the blog is devoted only to the one true faith, the reader's faith. Alternate title under consideration -- "I'll fly/You'll fry!"
• A Day in the Outer Life. Take a walk on the wild side! Be prepared to ride the manic depressive roller coaster up and down and up and down as ADOL showcases a housebound housefrau who's had it up to here with screaming kids, her boorish husband, friends who don't call enough, friends who call too much, her diet, Oprah vs. Ellen, that dress Cate Blanchett wore to that thing last week and, well, whatever else occurs to her as she goes about living her everyday life in Anytown, U.S.A. No gripe is too small for ADOL's pointillistic perspective!

Sarah's also cooking up some yummy product placement ideas, but they're still in the oven and aren't ready to be tasted yet.

We're excited to have Sarah join the Outer Life team. Together we look forward to building the Outer Life brand, achieving critical mass and taking it to the next level!